I was much more official than that.
20 minutes later, some nerdy HP guy, who is probably really hot, but I can't tell these things over the phone - calls me up. He tells me my laptop might have some kind of worm virus that's laying dormant and I need to re-install my operating system. He also tells me I need to an external DVD drvie for my laptop.
Well sir, I don't have an external harddrive... Oh? What's that? YOU'RE GOING TO SEND ME A FREE ONE?
AND YOU'RE GOING TO SEND ME FREE ANTI VIRUS SOFTWARE? FUCK. WHAT DID I DO RIGHT?!
(it must not have been those rape jokes from yesterday lollollol)
More importantly, PCs have virus's that can lay dormant? What? Like Chlamydia?