I felt really depressed about this at first. And it was like, so much anger at myself. (I didn't even cry even though I was pretty sad about it.) I really hate myself right now. And I really hate it when I fuck things up like this. I was looking forward to having some really nice food. Oh well.
But I feel better now. Only, it's a fake kind of feeling better. I just escaped reality all together. I feel like I'm outside of myself like having an out of body experience. Only, I know I'm not really outside my body because I'm not stupid.
So I have nothing interesting to update about. Still pretty disappointed in myself.
I'm a real winner here.